Understanding
and developing social tools.
Healthy relationships start with our relationship with ourselves and then extends to others, our family, friends, colleagues & stakeholders, community and the environment we live in. Our relationship with ourselves overlaps with our mind management. It starts with our internal dialogue. Start observing your thinking, your internal dialogue. Do an inventory of your positive thoughts vs your negative thoughts. We will delve into this deeper in the Higher Performance section.
Resources
Click the icon to watch, read or listen
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Dale Carnegie
Driving social wellbeing
The frequency of social contact with friends or family is a significant component of life satisfaction. For example, people who have social contact with others every day are more satisfied with life than those who only have this contact every three months or longer. Often, being a member of a sporting or community club can enhance social wellbeing. People who are active members of such clubs are significantly more satisfied with their lives than non-members.
Positive social interactions within a community can help build a strong sense of belonging. This means that residents feel they are part of the community, that others in that community look out for them, and that they are welcomed by other community members.
Areas to focus on that can assist and support relationships.
Above is a set of three key focus area that can be used to support social wellbeing. Each focus area provides an introduction to help understand its importance and value. The provision of this content is where the Marcus Minds Project can be of enormous value to those seeking helpful relationship advice, as all the sifting has been done when it comes to providing content you can engage with and can support helpful social activity.
Social Connections
As the video above stated, we don't need a huge number of friends to feel happy and gain the benefits of mutual support. Let's face it, there is only so much time and energy we are willing and able to devote to developing and maintaining social connections.
You might think that large support groups would be more effective than smaller ones. However, there is an inevitable trade-off between benefits that accrue and the (time) cost of maintaining relationships:
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Only so many individuals are likely to be able to help you at any one time. With too many close contacts, you risk ending up with a 'too-many-cooks-spoil-the-broth effect'.
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Close relationships are usually reciprocal. So, although each relationship might provide benefits for you, you might be asked to reciprocate to all the others in your support group.
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Suppose we assume the quality of a relationship is
proportional to the time invested in it. In that case, there will be significant time costs involved in creating and maintaining close relationships.
“The only real difference between those in a mental asylum and the rest of us is the relationship we have developed with ourselves.”
Tim McGavin. Marcus Minds Project Sponsor.
Social Connectedness
There are three different but related ways of thinking about social connectedness (also known formally as 'social capital'): structural, cognitive and relational social capital. Structural connectedness concerns the ways and how often people interact with others.
There are three main aspects of structural connectedness:
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Informal Social Connectedness refers to how often people spend time with friends, extended family and neighbours.
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Civic Engagement concerns taking part in organised community activities such as local community groups and events.
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Political Participation relates to participating in activities to achieve public outcomes. This may, for example, involve attending meetings to discuss political issues, local activism and political protest.
Relationships in remote and rural communities
As we have seen earlier, social connectedness is vital for everyone. However, living in a remote area can result in an inherently isolated lifestyle. Think of the vast cattle stations in Australia's outback, with your nearest neighbour and essential services hundreds of kilometres away.
Anna Creek Station in South Australia (15,746 square kilometres) and Alexandra Station in the Northern Territory (16,118 square kilometres) are about five times as large as the biggest ranch in Texas and bigger than many small countries. And while not all stations are that big, many station-based folk have to travel hours for a cuppa and a chin-wag with their nearest neighbours. Even for less-remote agricultural workers, maintaining social connectedness can be difficult.
Over recent decades, there has been increasing use of mechanisation and technology in day-to-day farm operations. As a result, there is less need to employ farm workers, thereby limiting farmers' social networks. Nevertheless, rural communities generally report higher levels of many indicators of social connectedness than urban communities, including better access to networks of emotional and social support.
Relationship with Self
Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship in life. It is the foundation of everything else.
A few tips for taking care of yourself:
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Cultivate self-awareness, set intentions and realistic goals
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Stay curious and accept what is (accept what you cannot change)
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Prioritise self-care and develop them into good habits – nutrition, sleep, exercise, mindfulness/time out
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Avoid being overly judgemental and critical of yourself – monitor your self-talk
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Be optimistic and positive, avoid complaining
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Avoid guilt for taking time to look after yourself
“We are already seeing the creation of a new kind of network based on friendships: Startups, which are often founded by friends, are the beginning of something that could reshape social relations.”
Theodore Zeldin
Relationship with Others
A few tips for managing relationships with others:
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Make time for others
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Listen intently and try to remember details about others
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Be non-judgemental, don’t criticise. Learn to give constructive feedback
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Trust and respect
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Be willing to accept feedback from others without reacting. Often its your great friends who can offer you the best insights to yourself.
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Most importantly , choose your friends wisely and avoid toxic people and relationships. Monitor how people make you feel.
Non-violent Communication by Marshal Rosenberg
Big Ideas Growing Minds
Social Wellbeing - Importance of Social Connections, Social Life & Social Interactions
Relationships with Technology
Do you have control over your phone and technology habits or do they control you? Awareness is the most important part of creating a healthy relationship with technology.
A few tips for managing technology:
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Start paying attention to how you use your phone, your computer, social, and how they make you feel. In your phone, go into Settings and check your Screentime. It will tell you what time you have spent on what apps
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Have regular screen free time and take breaks
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Avoid screens 30 minutes before and after bedtime
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Limit phone time – See Time Management in the High Performance Section.
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Manage your emails – See Time Management in the High Performance Section
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When you charge your phone, remind yourself to take charge of your phone.
Over recent decades, there has been increasing use of mechanisation and technology in day-to-day farm operations. As a result, there is less need to employ farm workers, thereby limiting farmers' social networks. Nevertheless, rural communities generally report higher levels of many indicators of social connectedness than urban communities, including better access to networks of emotional and social support.
Relationship with Alcohol
When was the last time you explored the role drinking plays in your life? If your answer is 'I’m not sure,' it might be time to take a step back and reflect on whether or not you’re happy with your relationship with alcohol.
Being mindful of this relationship requires honesty and courage about how alcohol impacts your:
> Health,
> Relationships,
> work and,
> other social obligations.
It also requires kindness and compassion, and a willingness to reach out for help if you uncover any underlying issues. With that in mind, here are some tips to consider as you move forward on this journey.
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Be Sober Curious: Sober Curious is a rapidly growing movement that revaluates your relationship with alcohol. Unlike sobriety, which is often a lifestyle chosen as a result of alcoholism or alcohol use disorder, sober curiosity is defined as having the option to choose, to question, or to change your drinking habits. It's not an all or nothing approach.
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Are you starting to worry about your drinking habits?
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Take a self test
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Identify and understand the risks – relationships, social, career and health can all be at risk.
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Minimisation strategies: It’s often the pace of the second drink that is the tipping point between drinking too much and not. Try to skip the second round, drink slower or order something non-alcoholic. Use one-liners like 'I’m driving,' 'No, thanks, I just finished one, and 'I’ve had my limit for tonight.'
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Work out what type of drink suits you? Some beverages are depressants others not so much.
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Don’t drink on an empty stomach
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Limit to two drinks
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Find a substitute
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Try to do Dry July with a few friends
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You should avoid alcohol at least 3 days per week
Tips for the Sober Curious
Harper One
Resources
Click the icon to watch, read or listen
What dos it mean to be Sober Curious
verywellmind.com
Why being 'sober curious' is the latest self-care trend
campuswell.com
Self Assessments
SELF TEST: Could You Have an Alcohol Abuse Problem?
verywellmind.com
Free alcohol screener and CheckUp?
checkupandchoices.com
Alcohol screening pocket guide
niaaa.nih.gov
Support Groups
Long-term Recovery Support
niaaa.nih.gov
Marcus Minds Stories
College Students discuss their lives
Roll on to the other 'tractor wheels'
Congratulations on working through the Relationships focus area of the Marcus Minds Project 'Tractor Wheel'. Remember, these resources are not going anywhere. Feel free to return to them time and time again, especially should a moment in life present that needs more clarity or extra guidance.
Here are four more areas that can support a healthier, wealthier, happier and wiser rural lifestyle.
Click any of the 'tractor wheels' above to learn how to better manage the ins and outs of rural life, work and living based on each topic. These insights can assist to get people rolling in a better direction, avoid getting bogged and steer towards greater wellbeing and emotional intelligence.